Zamious

I have been MIA for quite a while. Not that anyone really cares.
The meaning behind the question mark included in the title should be obvious; I am uncertain of my return. But I want to try this artist thing again. I think I might be good at it.
So here it goes! I am going to get my work out there. Make a mark! Have a presence! However miniscule that presence may be, I have something to say and may as well say it. Non-listeners be damned!

    I have this habit, maybe not so much a habit, but a tendency to leave the last few pages in my sketch book blank. I'm not sure what it is, I simply cannot bring myself to fill them. One could say that I'm thinking too much about it, or I am going about it the wrong way. As soon as I notice I only have those last precious pages my mind goes blank. Or rather, my mind goes blank of anything worthy enough. I mean, they're the LAST PAGES they have to be awesome, right? The immediate answer my brain comes up with is, no. They're the last pages, what makes them any better than the first ones? Nothing. They are exactly the same. But there is still that inability to fill them. Because I think about it too much, and all I do is think about it they remain as always untouched. 
    The point of this is to explain why I don't have a sketchbook. I know, it's disgraceful. I'm a warrior without a practice dummy. Please, retain your gasps and shrieks of horror.  
    You could say I am between sketchbooks at the moment. I just "finished" up my last one and I am simply waiting for the funds to purchase a newer fancier one. Probably not fancy, but new. The move has taken up all of my time, doctors and rent have taken up all of my munnies. So is the life of the struggling artist. But plenty of artists survive without a sketchbook. It's not the only way to practice, or deposit the mind and soul. 

In other news... 
I am at last in my own space. Freedom, 'tis wonderful. 

At long last I have found a home! The papers have been signed and I move in Sept 1st! If all goes well. I will be poor... again. Not that I have been living luxuriously these past couple of months rent free in the wonderful house of a friend. But I will not have as nearly as much freedom to do with my money as I do now. Which honestly doesn't bother me in the slightest. As long as I finally have a place that is MINE (at least, partially) for a time where I have my own space (FINALLY) to work on my art, I will be happy.

It has been very difficult going from a suppressive, suffocating but full house hold, to barely scraping by ALONE, to finally a full though slightly less suppressive house again where I have itty bitty living space and practically ZERO room to work on anything, and very very little privacy. I shared a room all my life growing up. However, when I had grown up I wasn't sharing anymore. But now that I am even more grown up... I'm sharing again. When you become so used to one way of living and suddenly your have to adjust BACK to how you were living before you go a little crazy and the adjusting just doesn't happen when it's only temporary. So hopefully you will be seeing more of me. But I say that every time something changes and it seems as though it just doesn't happen.

Anyway! That is an update from my life, stay tuned for more awesomeness. 

Love,
Zammy

It's been a rough and tiresome winter. I can't even begin to describe how bitter the cold has been. But, like the spring, I am reviving.
Believe it or not I have completed two pieces in the last two weeks with two major projects under way (commissions), and two more I plan to unleash from my soul. It may be a while before they are uploaded here, but know that I am working. Progress is being made. The artist is returning.
In other news, I found a job so the move process is well...moving along. I'm not entirely sure when it will be final, but I know I will be out by April if all goes well. Wish me luck!
Love,
Zammy

    Man have I really neglected this poor site AND my artwork. Within the past few months I have created maybe four pieces, two of which aren't even complete. What kind of crap is that? I go from cranking out 1-2 pieces a week, to...dust covered tools. I can't even tell you how disappointed in myself that I am. How did I let it all just go? I'm slowly losing my touch and it's not cool guys! NOT cool! I need to step up my game, but every time I try I feel like I've lost it. My old self is gone, replaced by someone I'm scared to even be introduced to. Living on my own has definitely changed me, but it's not just that. People have changed me as well. I do a lot for people, more than I even realize. I don't constantly change to fit what others want, but I do morph just a little bit for them. All of these people probably don't know that's what I'm doing; morphing to fit myself into their world.